Feminism is not an attack on men.
Women feel silenced because of our culture’s knee-jerk reaction: “I don’t believe you.” By asking the question, “If these women are telling the truth, why did they wait so long to come forward?” the people asking that question become the problem.
Women who are afraid of having their reputations destroyed, who are afraid of revenge actions by their attackers, who are afraid of reliving their traumas by reporting them: Why would they come forward when the the odds seem pretty good that they’ll be labeled “liars” and “exaggerators?”
Yes probably true if women stand united against a rape there could be much improvement in the attitude in the long run.
Yes, and men must stand with us too! Thank you so much for the comment.
What strikes me is the real issue is that women do not support other women. Too many women tear one another down, out of envy, jealousy, competitiveness. The number of times I have been mistreated by a woman – yes men are the rapists but women are the ones who do not stand rising one another up. If we could stop being jealous of one another (for what?) and just STAND TOGETHER we’d be stronger than any rape culture. But as long as women are as guilty as men of saying things like ‘she asked for it’ then we lose. We lose as a group that is big enough to be totally equal if we choose to be. I don’t get the jealousy hate women have for other women I have NEVER felt it, and it’s not just because I’m queer it’s because I truly see no reason to compete with another woman or judge her. Call me old-fashioned but we should lift each other up and believe in each other. I hope this day, heralds a new start for women of the world to come together at last.
That’s not old-fashioned at all! This is the time, more than ever, for us to stand together and support each other. I have absolutely felt hatred and jealousy from other women too. After I was assaulted, my best friend and roommate of 2 1/2 years yelled at me, “Just get over it already! Enough! You’re so dramatic!”. That was just two months after the first assault, and a month after the second. It still shakes me to my core. She then went on to take the first boy’s side as a witness in the college Title IX investigation. I transferred when I lost. I have a really hard time trusting people now- both men AND women! It is really unbelievable to me that women cannot put their differences aside to stand for the things that do unite us- the simple fact that we are women.
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I admire you for admitting you have experienced this because sometimes women will say no I have never experienced this yet I think nearly all of us have. I also think it’s insane when women are unmerciful about things we share in common such as being assaulted and attacked. I cannot for the life of me understand that. It is sickening and so wrong and shows how sick we are as a gender sometimes. I cannot blame you ONE BIT for a lack of trust I would have that also (I do) and for similar reasons. Just know this though YOU KNOW THE TRUTH and also THEY ARE FUCKED IN THE HEAD (sorry for the swearing but!) and some people you have to realize they are just so warped they will never know, maybe they can’t admit it because it happened to them? Either way YOU KNOW and not all people are that way I promise I mean I find it hard to trust but we MUST or we live a half-life.
It’s really unbelievable when every single woman experiences at least some sort of sexist comment or inappropriate behavior directed at them. It’s just too common to go denied, yet women like to pretend there is no problem, or even blame themselves.
Thank you so much for understanding- it really feels like I am alone in the world sometimes when even my closest (especially female) friends continue to discredit me and bunch me into a group of “crazy ex-girlfriends out for revenge”. (Yet I’ve been assaulted by someone I was in a relationship with, but also with someone that was a stranger). My ability to trust is coming back slowly through the help of my boyfriend, but it will still be a long process because there have been few women to help too. Wishing you all the best.
Oh my friend you are so right. It is horrific that so many are affected, and we just don’t DO more. You are not alone but I can see why you would feel it if people act that way. Just know this is NOT a reflection of YOU it’s a reflection of a sick society and you should be outraged! It is horrible when a friend of all people does this, it re-traumatizes you, but again, this is THEIR CRAP and it’s not about you which is hard to believe but it’s true. Just know you did nothing wrong and your courage and strength and humility ARE appreciated and a true good friend would NEVER do that. Have faith in your boyfriend and other friends because we’re not all that bad but DAMN the ones who are, they will have their karma come back to them I’m certain of it.
And now there’s Trump here to make it all so much worse…
keep your head up and know your worth and then nobody can really take it from you no matter how much they try.